Today’s Women of Style & Faith, Relationship Expert & Author, Dr. Lillian Gibson gives us a glimpse into the balancing act of her life and how she executes in purpose helping to bring balance and harmony to others, especially that of women who are married or aspiring to be married.
Dr. Lil we are delighted to feature you and the amazing things you are doing! Tell Saintly Style a little about yourself and those amazing things.
I’m a licensed clinical psychologist often referred to as a “mood make-over” expert. For the past eight years I have been known to guide clients away from feeling overwhelmed, hurt, frustrated, and sad into a life of peace and happiness. I developed this passion as a young girl after seeing a family member battle depression (discussed with Miss to Mrs.). My goal is to help patients solve their problems through individual, group, or couples therapy for emotional healing and restoration.
One of my passions is to enhance the love lives of couples desiring fulfilling marriages. I know all too well about relationship challenges that often pull couples apart, but have found that most people end their relationships prematurely due to lack of information and steps to build endless love. I enjoy teaching soulmates creative ways to increase marital intimacy, and divorce proof their unions by being proactive instead of reactive. I have found that newlyweds experience less conflict when spousal roles are adequately identified. Couples that I work with learn unique communication styles to overcome their struggles. My book, Miss to Mrs., helps women transition from being single to happily married.
As an independent and autonomous woman, I personally know how difficult it is to settle into a committed relationship. Sometimes marriage has so many responsibilities that one can feel like they are losing themselves and their identity. After successfully overcoming marriage hurdles I found it important to share practical tips with other women, so they too can feel empowered when navigating their relationships.
Additionally, after helping several people shed unwanted weight, I was led to coach women on “clean eating secrets.” My techniques were so easy they spread like wildfire. Gibson Life Organizational Services (GLOS), an on-line program, was eventually launched. Women across the country have lost over 500 pounds by using my food system known as the GLOS Formula. The program helps women develop nurturing relationships with food while improving their health.
What motivated you to write your book?
I feel women are coached in so many different life areas, but aren’t taught how to thrive in a marriage. The experience of love for strong women has been a long standing under addressed issue, so I felt the book was greatly needed.
After successfully overcoming marriage hurdles I found it important to share practical tips with other women, so they too can feel empowered when navigating their relationships. Women can have it all: a great career and an amazing love life if given the right resources.
Please speak to the role of faith in your life -how do you couple your faith with what you do on a professional level?
I understand and accept that I exist because He exists, and I honor the fact God has given me this message to share with people across the world. I also know that everyone has a purpose and a message, and I didn’t want time to pass while I harbored knowledge that could have helped someone. Doing so would have been neglectful, and I don’t want that to be on “my shoulders.” I feel if you are a believer and God gives you a meaningful word it’s our duty to use our strengths and talents to spread that word.
How do you manage and a maintain balance in the different aspects of your professional & personal life along with your relationship with God?
Here is what I do:
-Set aside time for daily meditation (it helps me spiritually and for mental focus each day)
-Go to be early and wake up early so I can plan my day and maximize my time (it prevents me from getting overwhelmed)
-I prioritize my life: self-care, family, and God come first, other commitments take a backseat and get scheduled based on dates and urgency
-I don't over commit myself. There are a lot of events that take place in my city (Dallas/Fort Worth metroplex), but most times I only schedule one event a month and spend the rest of my time with family and friends
-I workout at least twice a week
-I eat clean to energize and nourish my body (my clean eating website is www.getglosed.com I will have a 21 day mind, body, and spirit clean eating program staring next month)
-infuse my spirit with thanksgiving and service to others (my job as a therapist helps with this, but I also am very thankful for what God has done for my life and how he uses me so I do a Thanks list weekly)
There may be ladies out there who feel they have this same purpose to help other women in their journey being happily marriage, what advice can you give them?
If a young lady is interested in doing, I would tell her that commitment and dedication make a great mix for excellence. Like the saying goes: If one can think it...then they can achieve it (I heard this saying a lot when I was younger and believe it to be true).
I would also encourage her to do a little soul searching and connect with the passion, drive, and power that God has given her to impact the world. As I discuss in my book, tuning into the spirit and withdrawing from the fight to stay complacent was the best thing I could have ever done!
Can you provide any specific advice or wisdom to the both the single woman hoping to soon be married and the married woman (newlywed and seasoned).
It seems that most couples typically experience 3-4 different developmental stages throughout their relationships, and most individuals (single, engaged, and newlyweds) assume their growing pains are a sign of disaster and that’s simply not the case.
Unlike seasoned couples, a lot people entering into a relationship fear they’ve made the wrong mate selection or feel their issues can’t be resolved and this is untrue. Most couples struggle, because they do not seek pre-marital consultation, or marriage counseling to overcome marriage pitfalls. Every committed couple has the opportunity to strengthen their relationship if given the right tools to guide their journey. For me, coaching women on how to use female autonomy to make the best decisions for their love lives has given women the freedom to be in control of their relationships. It’s always a pleasure for me to help my clients navigate their marriages based on my education, training, and experiences.
As a therapist I have seen my own journey within so many other women from all walks of life. We are all virtually the same considering the emotional, spiritual, and psychological changes that occur within committed relationships. I’ve seen too many women suffering in their marriages without a guide to help them find clarity and meaning. Once I identified my struggles I searched for practical blogs and books to help me find my voice when transitioning from single to married, but there were none. When I committed to writing my book I knew it was an important message, could help someone, and save a number of marriages from divorce.
What has been your greatest accomplishment?
In writing my book, I learned that every struggle has contributed to my growth, it’s okay to be imperfect, allowing others to enhance your life is a strength, and leaning into my spiritual beliefs is my foundation.
Helping women overcome any getting settled issues once married. Also, when empowering married women with techniques on how to develop their voices as wives, practice good self-care, and develop an oneness spirit with their spouses.
Being a renaissance woman and at home a loving wife and supermom.
Tell me about the any challenges you’ve faced, how you endured and what keeps you wedded to what you do?
Conquering fear has been my largest victory as an author. I wondered if anyone could truly relate to my struggles and experiences. I was also hesitant about being too open and transparent, but I knew if I held back or didn’t say what I needed to say my readers wouldn’t connect with me. To overcome this internal challenge I pushed forward and vowed to see the project completed from beginning to end no matter how many negative thoughts popped into my mind.
Since this is a life+style blog, let us know any particular clothing designers or brands that you just love? Is there anything you will not wear even if it’s considered haute, on trend and popular? Basically, was there ever a time you would not wear something due to your convictions and Christian values, if so briefly touch on that?
I really shop anywhere where there is a sale! I love quality clothes and bargains! There are something's I won't wear: low cut clothing and clothes that show my bare buttocks. I think a women's appearance says a lot about who she is.
My style question that I like asking all you stylish gals of faith, “What’s your Style Innuendo” (the way you would like others to consider or view what your style is without you even saying a word when they see you)?And just tell us about your overall style.
I would say my style is colorful and modern. I love to wear clothes that fit my mood and personality. My clients always rave about my colors, and they too feel inspired to wear something bright and uplifting.
How has your overall style evolved in the past few years?
My style has grown over the years. I was too conservative and too boring. So I decided to step out of the box and wear clothes that made me feel vibrant and more my age. I love fun clothes and accessories, but they will always be tasteful. Speaking of which, I love earrings, big necklaces, and fashion rings to match my outfits.
What’s next on the horizon for you, chat with us about new projects etc?
I am actually in the works of developing a coaching program teaching women how to execute key concepts from the book. I will have a specific coaching plan for recently engaged and newlywed women, and another plan for women married 24 months or longer. Women will learn how to appropriately use varying communication styles, how to develop a spousal identity as a wife, how to develop marital anchors, and how to work with their partners to generate marital values to guide their union. I think this will be a great complement to the book.